Hello! It has almost been 3 weeks since I got started and I have now lost 3.7 kilos (just over 8 pounds). This is a fairly good start. I have to keep telling myself this.
Most of my friends are very health conscious and have tried most diets, everyone has their idea of what works best – some count calories, some carbs, some run, some (most) lift. I have a lodger at the moment who also happens to be one of my better friends. She has a completely different approach to eating, she eats little protein and barely any dairy or fat. She has, like me, been an athlete and is used to rigorous training and eating. We often have long conversation over dinner about what we eat, and why, and we have realised that her and I have one thing in common – how we think about food. This sparked an interest in writing something about it, because we’re different in body but similar in mind. Our enemy? Moderation.
I have an attitude to both food and exercise which can be good, but is also what has turned me from a mean machine into a rusty old bus left in the junk food yard. I either eat well, or really really shit. I either work out 6 times a week or not at all. Here’s an example of this behaviour from last year: during September I went to the gym 5 times a week and did cardio 3 times a week, I prepped every meal and made sure anything I ate was healthy. Then, in the first week of October things kind of fell through and I missed 4 days of exercise. On the 5th day, I got the bus to work and had 4 cinnamon rolls and some chocolate for dinner. It’s as if my mind goes “well, you’ve already fucked this up so you may as well give up”.
So I did. I gave up. I looked in the mirror and hated myself for it, but I didn’t do anything about it. I got acne, which I’ve never had before (I will write about this in a later post). I just quit taking care of myself and treated every emotion with food. “I’m happy with what I’ve done today – I deserve food” and “Today hasn’t been a good day – I deserve food”. It’s sad, and very dangerous.
My beloved lodger told me about this method you can use when you walk towards the cupboard to fetch a snack: the three breath method.
Breath 1: Look at your snack. What are you about to eat?
Breath 2: Do you need this? Are you actually hungry?
Breath 3: Do you genuinely want this? Are you peckish or just bored?
For me, this is a good method. It means I eat because my body wants it, not because I’m treating an emotion.
I’m going to the gym 3-4 times a week. I make sure I go because I want to and not because I “have to”. When something turns into a “have to”, the risk of not doing it is much, much greater. I need to remind myself that it is ok to just relax, that if this is going to work in the long-run, I need to allow myself to just be.
Just like blogging. I’ll do it when I want to, not just to fill up space. I’ll write when I want to share, or need support, or need to vent.
I have an event in a little over three weeks which will require wearing a dress and looking good. My plus-one is already convinced that I will be arm candy, but this remains to be seen.